I'm an asshole.

That's right. I'm an asshole.

I've been told this 4 separate times in the past week, and you know, I'm actually starting to believe it. It's kind of like if people kept telling you that you were a cat, you'd eventually start believing it. First you'd start kneading the bed before you slept, and the next thing you know, you'd be swatting at your friends for attention, chasing small dangly mouse-like toys, and talking in the third person (it's safe to assume that because of their narcissistic nature, if able to speak, cats would speak in the third person.)


Here's an example:

*DISCLAIMER* Since blogging about this situation could potentially land me in some trouble, I've decided to omit/edit certain details to protect the identity of those involved, and to disguise the actual activity... poorly


Baking a cake with Sally 

SO me and my pal Sally decided that we should get together, and do some good old fashioned baking. I go over, we chill for a bit, pound back a bottle of wine, and throw down... some ingredients on the kitchen counter. I start to preheat the oven, and things get rolling. Next thing you know, we're in full on baking mode. Now, Sally makes some pretty weird faces when she's baking, and quite frankly they scare the shit out of me. So, when Sally noticed that I could not make eye contact with her, she inquired why. Being the honest, open person I am, and also being slightly intoxicated, I informed her that she looked *MILDLY* retarded. Bam. I'm an asshole, and me and Sally don't bake anymore.

Clean, wholesome baking. 

But here's the thing - I'm actually okay with being an "asshole". You see, people tend to group a whole bunch of qualities together to form the stereotype of an asshole. Qualities that, on their own, aren't actually that bad at all. I mean, yeah I may lack a situational buffer in my honesty, but what can ya do. In my four situations, I was called an asshole, or the accusation of being an asshole was inferred, exclusively because of the accusers perceptions and obvious psychological ailments. Truthfully, in all situations, I was just being an honest guy.