*sigh*

Okay, so I completely forgot what the hell i was talking about in my last post. Seriously, no idea at all. Over the past 48 hours, I have consumed:

• 10 Large coffees
• 4 Peppermint Teas
• 6 Monster Energy gut-bombs (Or "drinks" as they call them)
• 4 Dr. Peppers

No joke. I've also had a combined 5 hours sleep over this period of time. So, can you really blame me for not remembering shit? Exactly.

Over the past few days, my Facebook news feed has been bombed with this picture and story:

"Hey Ted, c'mere I'm gonna teabag this little fucker"

To be honest, it's rather touching. I mean, if you read that story, look at the picture, and don't feel anything, it's probably because you're too preoccupied with daydreaming about the TV-movie they're gonna make about you after you hijack a bus full of nuns, pack it with explosives, and drive into a children's hospital. You sick fuck.

But, lets be honest here, after 5 minutes of thinking about it, and re-reading the story, then thinking about it some more, and then smelling it, it smells a lot like bullshit....

Because it is.

And I'm a little pissed off about it now. This shit's old. Like really fucking old. However, on the bright side at least something other than the latest iPhone whale was being shared on Facebook.

This brings me to the next thing I want to touch on. It's something that has royally pissed me off in recent years. Some of you know that I'm a bit of a closet photo-phile. Back in the olden days, when people took pictures with film cameras, there was some class, and exclusivity involved in photography. Now, everyone and their cat is a photographer, and anyone with half a brain (unless it's a cat, they need a whole brain) can take an "amazing" picture.

Photojournalism is something I have always dreamed about pursuing, except for the whole compensation element of it (can't be a baller when you get paid in bread crumbs and urinal cakes). However, now it's a profession that is almost completely dead. Nobody gives a fuck about a real "amazing" picture. Nobody gives a shit about true photojournalism. It's all about Internet memes, cats, and de-motivational pictures of bros pissing on eachother.

I prove with the following:

How many people have seen this picture?



or this?



this one?



These are all incredible images. All captured by people who still give a fuck about photography. That last one is literally a man who lit himself on fire and jumped from a building in Budapest. Think about that for a second. Somebody took that picture, and half a second later, the guy hit the ground. Then someone probably took his wallet, emptied it out, and bought themselves a bottle of coke or an AK-47.

These pictures are of things we should all be shocked, and captivated by. Nobody knows about them.

Instead, everyone who reads this will have seen the following:

"OMG Karen look at this amazing picture! Someone put a fruit helmet on their cat lolz. Go grab your DSLR and Sgt. Puddingtons, I've got the pineapple - we're gonna be famous!"

Anyways, my point is that there are a ton of jaw-dropping, mind boggling photographs in existence out there, spread that shit! Like peanut butter or Nutella.

I leave you with the recommendation to watch "The Bang Bang Club" - It's a great movie, and based on true events/pictures. Watch it. Also check out this website for more epic pictures.

Written while listening to this

Change in direction.

So, 46 seconds ago I decided something.



You'll see soon enough.

cooooooool.

Thoughtful.

Well if we take all these things and we bury them fast
And we'll pray that they turn into seeds, to roots and then grass
It'd be all right, it's all right, it'd be easier that way
Or if the sky opened up and started pouring rain
Like he knew it was time to start things over again
It'd be all right, it's all right, it'd be easier that way.

- Brand New

Rant.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Goddamnit.

I was driving on the 400 today in the middle lane, when a transport truck in front of me blew a tire, and sent the retread hurdling at my car. I swerved enough to miss most of it, but when I got home I saw that it had still clipped me.





The scratches are down to the primer, so I can't even buff them out. Headlight is loose and the fender looks a bit dented.

All in all, I have no choice but to deal with it. It frustrates me to no end that someone's carelessness has damaged my car, and I am the one left to pay for it.

The trucking industry has suffered greatly over the past decade, and many veteran truck drivers have been forced out of the industry by new young, and often foreign drivers willing to work for almost nothing. I feel for the drivers who are true professionals, as they now have to work even harder to make a living. A true professional driver would have noticed that their tire was close to a blowout, and taken the necessary actions to prevent it.

Hopefully karma finds that driver and gives him a fierce bout of diarrhea and a nasty case of herpes.

I also realize that I stereotyped foreign transport truck drivers as being careless. To the few foreign drivers who are not a part of this stereotype, I apologize.

It's rainy and i'm hungover.

So I'm chillin listening to 8tracks. Found this little gem, thought i'd share.



Love the raw acoustic/vocals, and the gradual buildup.

Absolutely terrible video though. Seriously, shit sucks balls.

Twitter.

I got twitter today.

In other news, I already regret getting twitter. The whole concept of twitter is still pretty silly to me, but i've been under some pressure from a Mr. Hammy Amherst (aka Graeme Harvey) to join the twit revolution.

See what I did there?

I guess now i'm a social media whore. Which has a terribly unclassy sound to it, so I'll tell people I'm a social media escort.

My life is fairly uneventful right now, other than some un-blog-worthy lesbian encounters, and arguing with some dumb girl in line for pizza about whether or not Sesame Street was pumping subliminal messages into us as children, I don't have much going on. I DID try making EasyMac with beer instead of water. Surprisingly, it tasted fucking awful.

That's all. If you want, follow me on twitter. I don't know proper protocol for referring people to my twitter account, i think there's some number signs and shit, but its "iammikerosss" - Please note that there are THREE s', because some asshole is apparently also Mike Ross.


Written while listening to this

Start your day fresh...

By setting this as your alarm.

It works.

Brilliance. Sheer fucking brilliance.

So today, while i was in the hour long line-up to get into school, it dawned on me that they have yet to make a show about cereal companies.

Think about it.

Imagine the dude who invented Lucky Charms. Just some marketing guy fed up with all these healthy cereals, who had a crude hatred for children, and a lust for success.

The show could be like Mad Men, except follows a cereal marketer. We can call him Carl "Lucky" Charmson.

I had a good 40 minutes of plotting out the first episode. Here's a teaser:

*opens with shots of busy office, people rushing around, cereal dispensers mounted on the walls, scantily clad receptionists*

*Pan to Carl's cubicle, he's busy putting the finishing touches on a proposal*

*Shot of Carl marching to the Director's office, co-workers murmuring and whispering as they watch him proudly stride towards the massive frosted (get it) glass doors.*

*Cut to the Directors desk, carl slams the file down*

Director: " Yes, Carl?"

Carl: "I've got it."

D: *sigh* "What exactly do you have Carl? Another "Lego-Brick-Explosion" pitch? You do know we're facing three law-suits over that, right?

Carl: No. No no, this is IT. *Opens file, slides box design towards the director*

D: *looks at design, then at carl, then design*

Carl: *Eagerly stares*

D: "Irish Blast..."

Carl: "Yeah."

D: "I see...are... are those marshmallows shaped like bottles of whiskey?"

Carl: "Yeah."

D: "And... hookers. These other things are marshmallow hookers?"

Carl: *with a look of pride* "Yes, yes they are."

D: *points* "and this one?"

Carl: "It's Colin Farrell sir."

D: "You're fired. Get the fuck out of my office."

----------

Follow Carl, and his quest to have his irish cereal produced.

That's all i've got for now. I'm going to incorporate the whole controversy about how it contains zero nutritional value, and likely is the root cause of severe digestive issues later in life.

On another note, if you ever find yourself in a room with a family size box of Lucky Charms, eat the whole thing and see what happens. I fucking dare you. Use skim milk though. I don't want you all getting fat.

Written while listening to this

Greetings.

Taking the advice of a few of my close friends, I have decided to bless the world with a page dedicated to my rantings, encounters, and opinions about controversial subjects which would likely result in me losing Facebook privileges.

Nevermind. I just changed my mind. Okay, this shit right here? This is like, my brain. But if my brain exploded and you could read it.

So expect more substance than I'm expecting. Most funny stories and such will be posted to the Big City blog. There will be repetition, because you're probably not going to wanna read TWO blogs.

Stay tuned. I'll start posting when i remember i started a blog.

Written while listening to this.